


You May Speak But I Won't Hear

by Winterchildboobear



Series: In the face of anxiety, I freeze [2]
Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxious Josh Dun, Five times josh needed a hug and one time he got it, Josh Dun is a Sweetheart, M/M, josh dun needs as hug, josh has anxiety, or not so platonic, platonic Joshler, platonic cuddles, tyler is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 09:18:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16678855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterchildboobear/pseuds/Winterchildboobear
Summary: Across the small shop Tyler was laughing at something a friend had said, the familiar sound reached Josh's ears but it sounded dampened and in a way, distorted. Breathing deeply Josh bounced his knee, the rhythmic tapping of his heel against the floor now replacing the snapping of his shoe strings. He hadn’t wanted to go out for ice cream, but Tyler insisted that it would be good to have some social time aside for school, a healthy experience with less healthy food.Realizing that he had been holding his breath, Josh let his shoulders relax as the air escaped through his parted lips. It was a bad habit that he had when anxious, one he couldn’t shake. As Josh would get lost in his thoughts, he would space out, all movements would stop, enough that even his breathing ceased as well. Often the ache in his chest was the only thing reminding him to breath as his anxiety ran circles in his head.Josh felt his anxiety grow. The desperation to grab Tyler’s attention was roaring inside of him. Finally, giving in. Josh gave in and made his way towards his friend





	You May Speak But I Won't Hear

Josh frowned at his shoes. The worn material of his converse looked even worse than they had this morning, the intricate fabric fraying and peeling away. Staring at the loose strings, he began to pluck them.  _Snap_ ,  _snap_. Discarding the strings on the ground he set upon deconstructing his shoes.

Across the small shop Tyler was laughing at something a friend had said, the familiar sound reached Josh's ears but it sounded dampened and in a way, _distorted_. Breathing deeply Josh bounced his knee, the rhythmic tapping of his heel against the floor now replacing the snapping of his shoe strings. He hadn’t wanted to go out for ice cream, but Tyler insisted that it would be good to have some social time aside for school, a healthy experience with less healthy food.

Realizing that he had been holding his breath, Josh let his shoulders relax as the air escaped through his parted lips. It was a bad habit that he had when anxious, one he couldn’t shake. As Josh would get lost in his thoughts, he would space out, all movements would stop, enough that even his breathing ceased as well. Often the ache in his chest was the only thing reminding him to breath as his anxiety ran circles in his head. 

The cold air of the ice cream shop bit through the dark sweatshirt that Josh wore causing his skin to chill. Tapping his fingers against his kneecap Josh chewed at the inside of his lip, his eyes flitting around the surrounding area. A woman and her daughter were ordering ice cream, he watched as their lips moved with their speech but his ears registered no words; only a jumbled mess of mixed noises ragged inside of Josh’s head. Feeling his chest tighten Josh rubbed a hand across his neck, his cold finger tips raised goosebumps across his skin, poor blood circulation always caused his fingers and feet to be cold even in the dead of summer and wrapped in wool. He was always cold, the opposite of Tyler who ran on the warmer side all year round.

Josh bit into his bottom lip painfully as he stared at Tyler. His friend was sitting on the bar stool beside Mark, a mutual acquaintance of the boys from school,  _Tyler’s_   _friend_. Tyler’s hands were shoved in his yellow sweatshirts pockets as he listened to Mark talk, they had gotten lost in their own world for most of the ice cream shop visit.

Josh flinched involuntarily as the woman’s daughter pushed past him, her ice cream held high in her grasp as she marched away with her treat, her mother trailing behind her, laughing as they left the shop. Josh’s ears rang with the loud noise, his ears aching. His knee bouncing a staccato beat as Josh fought the urge to bring his hands over his ears. The temptation to block out the mixed up sounds of the world was strong, but Josh knew it would look silly, a teenage boy sitting by himself at an ice cream shop table, doubled over with his hands clasped over his ears for no apparent reason. 

 _I have to leave,_ Josh thought as he pushed himself to his feet, his knees almost buckled beneath him as he moved towards Tyler. Mark was waving his hands around as he talked to a fascinated looking Tyler. Mark had always been an animated talker, as far as Josh could remember seeing him, he was always waving something around to aid in punctuating his speech. Josh tried to focus on the words Mark was saying but the sounds were jumbled, a mass of pronunciations and no meanings. Tyler glanced over at Josh and smiled before turning his attention back to Mark. Josh probably looked as into what Mark was saying as Tyler did as he stood across from both males.

Josh tried to force words through his frozen mouth _, I have to leave._ Tylerglanced at Josh again briefly, raising a dark eyebrow in question. Opening his mouth, josh hurriedly said something, but the words seemed to fly over his friends ears. Feeling himself reel, Josh shook his head and stumbled towards the door, his head swam with over stimulation. The only clear thought was to leave the stifling building. 

“Josh?” Tyler called out to his friends back, “Do you not want to go to the graveyard?” 

“It’s okay dude. I can go take the pictures by myself, I was just wondering if you’d want to go,” Mark said as the two began to follow after Josh.

”I’m sorry, Mark. Maybe next time.” Tyler smiled apologetically as Mark nodded.

Outside Josh stumbled towards Tyler’s parked car. The air was warmer now but Josh still felt too cold, his skin was freezing. Grasping at the car door's handle he tried to pry the door open, but after a moments struggle he realized it was locked. Slipping down to sit on the pavement in defeat, Josh folded against the car and began hugging his knees. He decided on waiting for Tyler to finish in the shop and come to the car. 

The noises were louder outside, Josh could feel the vibrations of passing cars pass through his feet, they seemed to echo through his body, bouncing against his skull. Digging his finger tips into his temple Josh tried to dampen the pain of a building migraine. Josh could feel himself gasping for breath as he groaned in pain. The voices were back, loud mumbling surrounding Josh. The sound was like that of voices through water. A hand touched Josh on the shoulder, causing him to jerk backwards against the car. 

Rocking back and forth Josh squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, the voices had left him alone. A hand passed through Josh’s hair, causing a shiver to pass down his spine. The hand tugged at his hair, pulling slowly at his roots, it wasn’t painful. It was a good ache as the tension in his scalp loosened. Josh’s mouth fell open as he relished the new feeling, it was distracting from the noises. The hand continued to pull at his hair, drawing the headache out. Eventually Josh’s eyes pried open, a blurry Tyler coming into focus beside him. He was sitting cross legged from Josh, his hands still locked in his friends hair. Gazing at Josh, Tyler said something. It was too loud, the sound shot pain through Josh’s head again. Tyler noticed Josh wince and began to whisper instead,

”You feeling okay, Buddy?” Josh whined back but did not shy away from Tyler this time.

“I sent Mark off. He didn’t mind, told me to take care of you.” Tyler watched as Josh’s eyes slipped shut, the sluggish movements of his friend told him that Josh’s episode had passed, leaving him drained and over stimulated.

”You should have told me it was too much,” Tyler scolded as he rubbed his fingers into Josh’s scalp, massaging away the headache that he knew was there. 

“Tried,” Josh mumbled. Tyler nodded as Josh stared at him blearily, his heavily lidded eyes covering most of his dark eyes. Pulling his hand away Tyler leaned back and watched him, Josh parted his lips as his arms jerked almost as if he kept himself from reaching out. Instead Josh stared at Tyler’s lap in silence, 

“Let’s get you home and to bed, I bet you need a nap.” Helping Josh stand, Tyler held his friend up as he struggled to stand. 

Josh buried his nose against Tyler’s neck, the warmth of his friend's body kept the chill of Josh’s own at bay. Swaying slightly he clung to Tyler as he began to maneuver him into the car. Josh couldn’t help as he whined at the lack of contact when Tyler removed his arms from between Josh’s. His entire body ached to be held, the familiar feeling of Tyler pressed against him was comforting and the thought of it being taken away caused Josh’s eyes to burn. Turning over Josh let himself be pulled into sleep as exhaustion flooded his body.

Tyler started the car and drove out of the parking lot, glancing at his sleeping friend occasionally as he navigated his way to Josh’s house. He couldn’t help but to wonder why Josh looked so upset even in his sleep. 


End file.
